Anyone who visits this site can tell that there’s been little activity in the past several months, and frankly, that concerns me. It’s not like I haven’t had any experiences worth sharing, or even worked on projects worth writing about. It’s just that I’ve been focused more on other things, other real life things like a day job and getting bills paid, blah blah blah. I’m in a bit of a rut, moving from day to day, but not building anything.
To prove that I’ve not completely isolated myself into some corner, here’s one of my favorite recent pictures. This was taken near Tucson, AZ, as we drove our way up Mt. Lemmon and stopped at a wayside outcropping that offered stunning vistas of the valley. The area is incredibly beautiful and the topography and foliage surprisingly varied. I could easily imagine planning a trip there just for the sake of filling an entire HD card of pictures — preferably taken at dawn or dusk. This came from a long weekend trip to visit family, a trip squeezed in among other busy schedules. In fact, I had to carefully book our tickets so that on the return trip I didn’t get home too late for a planned rehearsal of a short play I was directing.
I had responded to an ad looking for directors for a short play festival. It was small commitment but I enjoyed the idea of working on a new script and possibly new-to-me people, with a company I’d not yet been associated with. All of this came true, and in fact, I think it turned out pretty well. (If I may say so. And I think I may.) And in addition to that little project I’ve been to auditions, seen shows, attended production meetings for an upcoming project this summer, I’ve submitted a play to a few new play festivals, and have been approached about directing and acting gigs later this year.
Seriously – lots has happened.
But the real truth is that I’ve put more energy into other, non-artistic things, partially by choice and partially due to necessity. It’s stressful. It’s not fun. And it’s leading me down a dark path. That’s the thing that worries me. I was thinking the other day about what life would be like if I just continued in this vein? What would that be like?
I don’t know the answer, but right now I’d put my money on words like depressive, stifling and crippling.
And as my mind wandered further down that path I wondered about what else would I lose? What skills would be damaged due to lack of use or opportunity, or due to the overuse of others? I don’t really think I’d lose my creative abilities, my skills to tell a story or even my curiosity. (Although curiosity would be the first to go.) I wouldn’t lose those things entirely. But how much damage could this darkness do?
So I put this post here as a challenge to myself. To persevere. To do what’s needed doing….so I can get back to doing the things I need to do.
That doesn’t sound like it makes sense, but it does to me.
This blog has been a bit quiet lately because I’ve been busy with other things, life things. My mind has been full of task lists and schedules. My mind and soul have not been relaxed or exercised in creativity. The other day my agent called and said “Who are some of your actor friends about the same age as you?” My mind went blank. Oy.
One lesson learned: planning your own wedding is lot like producing your own play, and sadly you only get one performance and no real rehearsals. That was my show this summer. After the ceremony I had mental notes as to what we could do differently and then realized it didn’t matter – that moment was never going to happen again.
This week is the Minnesota Fringe Festival. I’m not done seeing shows yet, but a part of me wishes I were because the last thing I saw last night was the kind of uplifting, funny, touching show on which I always like to end my festival. (More about that at another time.)
Finishing that big summer project (which was memorable for the whole family) and seeing some inspirational theater the past few days, along with the fact that I now have my rehearsal schedule—which begins in only a few weeks for a fall play—has all been refreshing.
I feel lighter. More open. More relaxed.