This blog, like much of my artistic life, has been silent of late. Dormant. Hardly a peep. I’ve a couple drafts of entries that I started….but just somehow couldn’t finish.
2015 was a tough year. While there were a few projects I worked on, which were fun, successful and fulfilling, much of my time and energy was focused on finding a new day-job. Like many theatre folk, I don’t work often and/or lucratively enough to do this full-time, but that full-time job needed changing (for issues that I will not both going into) and so job hunting is what filled my time, evenings and weekends, instead of the luxury of working on a play.
In fact, the whole experience, over several months, was rather draining – mentally and emotionally. I spent countless hours perusing want-ads, editing my resume and crafting cover letters, and the toll I felt was quite surprising. If I’m being honest, I’d have to say I became rather depressed. It certainly was a burden I was carrying, but I think for me the tipping point came when I realized I’d stopped looking at audition notices, and didn’t even want to look. I didn’t want to go see a play because I didn’t feel like getting up. I had a running list of positions to apply for, and each application was a thorough, time-consuming process. I was applying for jobs the way I would approach a role or direct a play. “How can I make this work? What do I need to do with this to get to my goal?”
And alongside all of it, I’d lost my spirit for any creative enterprise. I became concerned I was losing who I am.
As is often the case, patience and solid work paid off. At the end of the year, I got an offer that will accommodate an artistic life on the side, I left my old job, and have given myself a short reprieve in between the two in order to refresh my mind and soul…and spirit.
I’m looking forward to getting back to the groove of things. Finding productions to work on, ideas for new scripts, seeing shows and writing about more things here.
It’s a new year and I’m looking forward to a new me.