Making me want it

The other day I had an audition for a short film being made this Fall by some local filmmakers. The film community only slightly overlaps with the theatre community here, and I’ve never really been a part of that intersection. Perhaps because of the increase in directing I’ve done over the past several years, my interests are moving more and more to a significantly more visual aesthetic, and as such, I find I’m more intrigued by the idea of working on films. Particularly, small, independent productions, where things are character driven. If I wanted to work in studio movies I wouldn’t live in a theatre town.

The audition went well and the little bit of the script I saw really piqued my interest. They weren’t sure if they were going to do any callbacks, or cast the three roles from the initial session, so I went away happy, kind of interested and…waited. Turned out they had enough options and interest to hold some call backs a week later.

I got to see more of the script for this, and to work with the director longer, discussing the character and his motivations and the plot, etc. I got to read with a few different actors auditioning for the other part, several times. Things were going well.

So now I’m very interested, not only because I think the writer/director and the producer know what they’re doing, but because I’m drawn to the character and the plot, and it’s not the kind of guy I’m often considered for at auditions. Frankly, he’s tougher. Meaner. More dangerous. And I like him because he’s a bit deceptive and manipulative.

I leave the callbacks feeling fairly good about it. My sense of how likely I am to be cast is generally pretty good at this point in most casting situations. I’m not 100%, and I start considering things like, how many others were scheduled to be there (I think only one) and what order did they schedule us and what did that mean? What did it mean the last time I held callbacks and had a tough choice to make?

The more I mulled it all over the more I’m geared up for it. The more I want it. I decide to be forward about that and I send an email to the producer with a “thanks for your time” and “thanks for having me” and “sounds fascinating” and “I want to play this part.” I know, that’s not really out on a limb, radical, but I wanted to put it out there.

Of course, I didn’t get it.

I feel like I’ve done more auditions in the past three or four months than I have in a long time, and for all kinds of things – commercials, industrials, theatre, film. Perhaps it’s simply the volume of rejections that makes me feel a bit bitter about it all.

I certainly didn’t take it personally or even hard. They were very kind in their comments about me and talk of working together some time in the future. I don’t think it was bullshit, but it’s not a gig.

So I take away from it the same thing I take away from all such encounters. I’ve made one more potential connection, and had one more new audition experience unlike others I’ve had, and perhaps made one or two more people aware of me and my abilities. And I move on to the next opportunity, hoping it all adds up.


One thought on “Making me want it

  1. Pingback: Come Back Here « The Man In The Yellow Hat Lives Here

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