What are you doing?

Last night I was sitting at a studio, auditioning actors for a play. It’s the general audition for this show, and I requested a two-minute contemporary monologue. When people are good and interesting and solid, you know it almost right away. Sometimes from them walking in the door. Others you have to warm up to a bit.

I didn’t have anyone timing it, and I’m fairly certain a couple of them were longer than two minutes. That’s ok. I’m pretty easy going at auditions. In fact, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, and feel really bad when I think they’re….awful…or not talented…or especially if they’ve just “blown it” because they were unprepared or nervous. When I’m thinking of other things, I should know I probably don’t need to call them back.

Sometimes my mind wanders to random thoughts. Here are a few of them……

“Really? This is the outfit you chose for an audition?”

“Why do you think that piece is right for you?”

“Did you read the character descriptions in the audition notice? If so, I’m curious, which one do you think you should be considered for? ‘Cuz I’m not seeing it.”

“You are so brave for doing that monologue, I want to cast you on guts alone.”

“You are so brave for coming when you have no experience or training, and reading that poetic paragraph (which I think you wrote) as a monologue. I didn’t even see the paper shaking in your hand, but you looked like you were going to faint. I wanted to say it’s going to be ok, take a deep breath.”

“You are so much cuter in this picture than you are in person.”

“You’re not wearing any shoes. Or socks.”

“I gave you something extra to read, so I was hoping to see something different than what you brought in. You’ve incredibly made it the same as your own monologue.”

“You just apologized about being sick immediatly after shaking my hand. Now I longer care about your monologue, I can only think of getting swine flu.”

“Where did you come from? And will you be in my play, because I think I love you. And I wish I were that talented and skilled when I was your age.”

“Please stop now.”

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